does sitting on your couch and staring at your cat for an hour count as a date? because if so, I’m in.

Anonymous: Have you seen The Laughing Woman?

”..Magnificent sex creations.”

Dear OkCupid,

You’re the worst. Why is Crazy Blind Date a thing. Please give me better matches in the DC area. 

Anonymous: AB, you look great as always but blonde hair is more like you. Love, me.

Dear you,
You may be right, but honestly, how would you know?
Curiously,
Me.